if ptsd is a swamp, just say, a heavy-gravity, venomous, creature-laden scary-zone, then shit!
know, its primal being is to pull you down, suck us under and digest, forget about each of us instantly—burp, no questions allowed.
to be writing this, holding this, seeing this and knowing this as true, is triumph.
so we have to crawl out. i had to; i have to every day. we gotta breathe and focus b/c some thalassophobian creature entwines our legs at five times our mass and 20 times our strength, it's hungry and doesn't care that we have plans, Now! dinner, snack, take your last breath, bye...
there's a rule: simply, that i can't live in ptsd forever. i have to move on.
i have to make space for something with less suffering, illumination, a step beyond...
muck and mire
So we gotta crawl out, b/c the murk will pull us to infinity and the mire will infiltrate our breathing tubes, and we will suffocate in fear and hypoxia from the inside out.
Bless, hold tight to the light, the gentle Light that illuminates all w/ Love, is Love, All Love. We need nothing more.
we must act together against gravity, and alone, but not explode in the doing.
balance, ease, the fine line between mayhem and torpor, that sweet spot where each of us is most intensely our own best selves.
breathe in, survey the terrain in the pause that follows, then exhale, act and breathe on.
if depressed, counter the lethargic state with action.
if over-hyped, counter that with actions more nuanced and coherent. slow down.
This is the first of the Beyond PTSD series, which follows the Inside PTSD series, but know the line between the two is fungible and fluid, that it changes like the currents of a strong river shift into each other, so no anticipating is worthwhile and present-time navigation is best, so yes.
More soon, Love, m
PS, today's my birthday, 20 March, equinox, balance, yay. So i am super mindful about what goes out today. And hi to Hazel, and Cheech, and Mr. Rogers. Rock the Equinox. Bless.
These words feel good, a strong offering to All Love for Gratitude, and gratefulness for another moment un-maimed, able, walking....