if ptsd is a swamp, just say, a heavy-gravity, venomous, creature-laden scary-zone, then shit!
know, its primal being is to pull you down, suck us under and digest, forget about each of us instantly—burp, no questions allowed.
to be writing this, holding this, seeing this and knowing ...
more ...survival is a beautiful word, and mere survival is vastly under-appreciated... for me at least, by those i've met who've never been hair-trigger from death, who've never been thrown from sleep and violated in nightmares.
mere survival is bodymind living to take another breath—celebrate that ...
more ...sometimes it hits hard, a 3am nightmare contorted into its own pain, vigil from then till dawn, jagged sleep broken by 6am mechanisms—a half step behind the rest of humanity before eyes are fully open. None of this forgives the day's duties, of course, nor ...
more ...in our last episode, we were recounting the extreme totality of the flash back experience i have 14feb2015 west of chicago. i was 19 again, fleeing, always scared, driving, scanning the horizons and sky about for haven, safety, a corner i could defend myself in.
i'm 51 ...
more ...space is the final frontier, whether you go in our out.
ps, anxiety is depression on speed, and i can't even quantify how much i crave spaciousness. my whole body does, like i need a huge container to safely decompress from ptsd in.
thing is, though, knowing that ...
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