before the aftermath


so first essay after the new rule (until i change it) starts w/ me realizing that for some weird reason i take care of myself better than ever.

not as if i am directly preparing for end of life, but b/c i need stamina and strength to grieve, and ...

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postlude


Ps

leave yourself as little refuse as possible, drop no trace if possible except those ripples you intend to create, like soundwaves vibrating through energy ponds, clouds across the watertop.

stand tall and open, fully present to each moment, and in every blessed moment you can, do only what is ...

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do it well


and then?

i have allowed, through real and habitual need to survive, smallness and separation to be seen as real, and it's not, b/c any sense my ego has that i think i am, is not, b/c i am temporary. the ego self housed in this bodymind ...

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first glimpse


eyes open

i am ok, safe ap, decent,

i am tripping hard on what comes after full on survival, b/c that's all i've known this past few years, and when i was younger, and yet i feel i am moving past that. perhaps others are to at ...

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inside ptsd, outside looking in


temporary obliteration of self

as noted elswhwere, [surviving mindfulness] one of the challenges of ptsd + mindfulness, is that some days suck. or rather, the day is fine, lovely in fact, like today, 79 degrees and flowers and trees in refulgent expression of their beautiful lives.

but me, i, us, the ...

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