the "Desire & Gratefulness" collection:
what's peril? peril is you're going to take a beating.
plunging in contains that.
but first a step back, so i can orient myself in these words.
why am i here? so far as i can ascertain, i'm here to be here. i'm here to do what is compassionate, innate, and authentic, and do all that with Love; i'm here to be Love's emissary on Earth, as each of us is. i'm here to experience, try, do, watch, feel...
All Love is the ocean we live in, the atmosphere we inhabit, the air we breathe, the earth we walk on. it's in our hearts and in the spaces between our breath. It creates, with something akin to thought entire realities, and we are those.
All Love is the gravity that eventually pulls us all back Home.
on the ground
Due to embodied experiences it takes time to get to that portal where we can say Yes! to All Love, where we can launch out into our highest Desires. It takes time to work through the artifacts of living, the smoggy sinews that infect our corpus's.
What does it practically mean?
Breathing, then Spaciousness, then meta Desires (which are aligned w/ all love), then double ck that no one is getting hurt, that you don't need deceict or guile to get what you want, that you don't need to lie to pull this off.
So what about will? will is a plunging in activity. forceful, imposing on the ethers an imprint, like a hot wind.
All Love becomes a tuning fork. How well can you harmonise your actions w/ All Love.
- needs are tools of stability
- desires are tools on inquiry
when i have given my bodymind over completely to All Love and what does All Love want me to do next?
how to wend together will, needs, and All Love.
i am going through life.
when i was younger, i'd have experiences, and believe myself to be that thing or those experiences. i am unwanted, i am not welcome here to put it mildly. more recently i might have said i am depressed which feels like saying i am a rock in the stream an embodied manifestion of energy shaped into form, existing here and now. i do not want to invoke the notion of me as a giant protoplasm of despressed'ness. i want to be far lighter, free of having any of those things.
i just want to be.
so, when i develop inner spaciousness through breathing, first, and noticing and other simple daily regular tiny practices, i began to realize there is more to me than just my bodymind, that i am this agent or point of consciousness that can witness, can stand in awe at the unfurling of experiences, filled with sensations and thoughts... all of it, and that experiencer is, i believe as of right now b/c i'm still figuring all this out, of the fifth dimension, the dimension of Love.
this witnessing is empowering, and opens easier access to different levels of reality, with attendant diminishment of suffering.
from the stillpoint of witnessing, we can choose what to work on, what projects to undertake, what directions to amble, what goals to seek to fulfill.
the more these works of our lives—down to each breath, every gesture, all the thoughts we give any credence to—are brought to life to bring gratitude to All Love, pride in our realisation of the amazingness of it all.
don't fuck things up.
for getting through
- align with it will probably be ok
- don't over think it; create no existential anxiety.
- reside in the place of belief that we are created of Love, hence there's that whole extra measure of safeness and ease
begets new life.
why a new life?
b/c somewhere is Desire, and once bodymind joins in desires are common. Discernment is helpful here.
Nisargadatta and Vivekananda basically said, doing breathing and basic stuff like that, and apply a modest amount of will and you can release, put down, let go of 90% of the body-minds 3d and 4th dimension desires. nothing wrong w/ any of that; it's the nature of being embodied in flesh on Earth in these present tense timestreams. that leaves desires of the bodymind, the distilled.
Then, there are Desires; there are fewer of these, and they are of the soul and the fifth dimension. They can exist out of or in time. This is why you came here, your authentic stuff. these are worth paying attention to, and investing in wisely.
bodies are way beyond amazing. they are the experiencers of these 3d and 4th dimensions, as a thought of All Love. in that way, we are equal to universes.
the wave on the ocean analogy is helpful to me, that we are each cresting at a certain spot and at a certain time. that nexus of place and timing, which brings us to this: by living in the now, we are in reality living as a scion of All Love. we literally are the flesh that experiences our time and place, as and for All Love.
so that to me is cool.
so that brings in the final kind of desire, Desire which is the desire to return Home, to be at peace with yourself, be grateful and glad to be alive. This desire often manifests in exuberence, refulgence, verve, and vivacity.
now, to sorta summarise, first you get a breathing practice going of some kind. i didn't mention that but it's the first step forward, b/c it creates calm in the bodymind and spaciousness for consciousness to experience itself (me, you) as bigger, vaster than the body mind, big like sky and stars big, b/c we can do that, expand our perception to the boundaries of imagination, we can do that and still know that we are experiencing a tiny fraction of the amazingness that is going on right now across all the dimensions.
the key is to be big enough inside that you can witness your own existence. you can watch your bodymind do it's many things, and keep track so as not to cause harm, and so as to experience and co-create and share as much Love as possible. that's what we get to do by birthright, it's how we'er made.
so, given all this, you get rid of 90% of your bodymind's desires, you align them w/ the few core Desires that remain, and you entrust yourself to show up as and on behalf of All Love with every thing you do or think. it's not as hard as it seems.
see, you journey in, through breathing and attentiveness and stuff, striving to be a good person, be nice and all that, and accept that there will be what the bodymind perceive as discomfort, or outright suffering. those experiences exist and they happen to any number of us, no one excluded.
so plunge in and accept what comes, and do your best to align your endeavors w/ All Love. you are here to be a unique, curious, explorer of the boundries and details of Life.
you gotta figure how far you want to go, what you want out of it, what you're willing to give up, what's non-negotiable. being able to plunge in without wrecking yourself up on entry, passage, or exit is the wisdom to be able to discern at each moment what is true for your present reality. what is your body experiencing that might influence your trajectory, velocity, and intention? stuff like that, details. pay attention to as much as you can, so don't clutter your mind and thinking w/ litter.
ok, the precious freedom comes, or at least a good step toward it, by becoming more internally spacious, so however big you think you are in your counscious mind, make it ten times bigger and fill it w/ things you feel safe and good about, like mountains or the night sky or a certain person you love who has your back.
then, being spacious, you can see that your dramas, sensations, experiences are time-bound and temporary, and so any endeavor that occurs for the body-mind will end, b/c it's temporary, so you better get out of it as much as you can. hence, plunging in.
go for it, be rad, be stoked to be pulling off some of your Desires. learn what you came here to learn, b/c none of there experiences will persist. so what does?
soul connection, heart sharing, deep abiding Love.
Laws of Nature
- you can't always get what you want, unless you want All Love.