There was none.

Now there is: i know to breathe, let my shoulders down a few millimeters on an exhale, i know to ground my feet more firmly into the earth and draw from ancient mother an old power that sustains and does not harm. i know to find my ...

What is staggering, is how true the details are, ptsd that is... triggered state.

Detail: rage. fuck rage.

Nasty energy that.

Not rage that emanates from me, but rage visited upon me.

OK, i bow. I accept. Rage exists. Rage writ large is nazi germany, is my lai vietnam, is ...

Everything comes w/ a price. Everything costs something, is an immediate transaction. What will it cost me to say 'yes', or to hesitate and hope for more information, or to say no and keep moving rather than risk an inaccurate assessment of the risk/reward of whatever is being offered ...

What is staggering, is how true the details are, ptsd that is... triggered state.

The basic pattern for the body's response to trauma, at least in part—at least how i know it—is this:

1. try to get away, duck, flee!!
2. freeze/fight back, fight back or freeze.

That ...

What is staggering, is how true the details are, ptsd that is... triggered state.

Detail: it's grueling. I estimate it takes, or takes away, at least 90 minutes per day. In addition to that, more sleep is required, and the penalty for getting too little rest is double what ...