the "Inside PTSD" collection:
- inside ptsd
- inside ptsd, the mad list
- inside ptsd, backstory
- inside ptsd, fleeing
- inside ptsd, two
- inside ptsd, remediation
- inside ptsd, three, rage
- inside ptsd, transaction costs
- time shift, inside the ptsd
- time shift three
- time shift two, still inside the ptsd
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode
- survive vs heal
- inside ptsd, body knows
- inside ptsd, body knows, part one
- one hour
- that same afternoon
- inside ptsd, more than a recollection
- inside ptsd, body knows 2
- acceptance.
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 2
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 3
- inside ptsd, a student of trauma
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4a
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4b
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 5
- inside ptsd, more than a recollection, part 2
- acute
- inside my midlife ptsd
- one day—the daylight part—inside ptsd
- inside ptsd, mere survival
- inside ptsd, economics
- one day, at night, inside ptsd
- on the outside, looking in
- inside ptsd, in the wind
- inside ptsd, in the wind, two
- a is for anxiety
- inside ptsd, the last match
- inside ptsd, addicted to addiction
- inside ptsd, outside looking in
- Day Three, Haunted
- inside ptsd, what it is
- inside ptsd, it takes time
- inside ptsd, the plea for understanding
- before the aftermath
possibly related
Everything comes w/ a price. Everything costs something, is an immediate transaction. What will it cost me to say 'yes', or to hesitate and hope for more information, or to say no and keep moving rather than risk an inaccurate assessment of the risk/reward of whatever is being offered, a ride, a bit of food, a seeming simple kindness. Every moment of life with other humans is a transaction, a negotiation if not w/ them then with a thousand parts of myself, all on vigil, all manning the trenches and watchtowers of my being scanning for wildfires or the rumbling waves of a fast approaching earthquake.
Whether to enter the store is a hundred questions, and then how to manage the encounter w/ the person behind the counter, the supposed pleasantries of 'normal' human discourse beyond ken, a wading pool filled with spiny urchins. a thousand micro-decisions later, 500 trade-offs that all drained the account, we may walk out w/ a bag of chips and some rolling papers, and if we're lucky, a free pack of matches.