the "Inside PTSD" collection:
- inside ptsd
- inside ptsd, the mad list
- inside ptsd, backstory
- inside ptsd, fleeing
- inside ptsd, two
- inside ptsd, remediation
- inside ptsd, three, rage
- inside ptsd, transaction costs
- time shift, inside the ptsd
- time shift three
- time shift two, still inside the ptsd
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode
- survive vs heal
- inside ptsd, body knows
- inside ptsd, body knows, part one
- one hour
- that same afternoon
- inside ptsd, more than a recollection
- inside ptsd, body knows 2
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 2
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 3
- inside ptsd, a student of trauma
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4a
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4b
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 5
- inside ptsd, more than a recollection, part 2
- inside my midlife ptsd
- one day—the daylight part—inside ptsd
- inside ptsd, mere survival
- inside ptsd, economics
- one day, at night, inside ptsd
- on the outside, looking in
- inside ptsd, in the wind
- inside ptsd, in the wind, two
- a is for anxiety
- inside ptsd, the last match
- inside ptsd, addicted to addiction
- inside ptsd, outside looking in
- Day Three, Haunted
- inside ptsd, what it is
- inside ptsd, it takes time
- inside ptsd, the plea for understanding
- before the aftermath
It didn't this time last year. Imagine that, for real, for a moment...
Springtime, and instead of being spacious enough to appreciate the majestic brilliance of new buds and longer, less cold days, imagine it's a time of sadness, how the alacrity of spring will accelerate your not already awesome state, your down, sad, confused self.
i've been both sides, many times, post-traumatic and steady, and i have no sense that either is guaranteed, but, truth be told, as i age into my mid fifties, i appreciate a certain skill at getting life done. there is an energetic pulse one can lay on life that assuages it and eases the demon edges, the bloody sharp points that spurt and pulse with dying.
healing from ptsd takes time, but time is fungible. both sides, we all win.
what that means is this: it literally requires the passage of time, and the living through it, for healing or evolution to occur. forward movement, obviously is needed. Doing must occur—within the context of non-doing—for change to happen, and healing, a priori, is change from less-good to more good. that's our business together, why we gather with these words.
but, inside this progression of time, the undulations are not uniform, meaning life tumbles and yearns, dances fast or stumbles hard, or lays low and does not, and accepts what comes.
we're in it together. we are the people we've been waiting for.
furthermore, he smiles, it's fascinating to behold. the difference this time is, at age 51, that i can watch myself go through all this post-traumatic mayhem. it becomes obvious that it must be endured, so it might as well be made to serve us as well as possible.
which leads me to think of frugality and optimism, so i'm excited to write soon about old-school english woodland management, thousand year old permaculture, coppice and standard ways of thinking that last dozens of generations.