the "Inside PTSD" collection:
- inside ptsd
- inside ptsd, the mad list
- inside ptsd, backstory
- inside ptsd, fleeing
- inside ptsd, two
- inside ptsd, remediation
- inside ptsd, three, rage
- inside ptsd, transaction costs
- time shift, inside the ptsd
- time shift three
- time shift two, still inside the ptsd
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode
- survive vs heal
- inside ptsd, body knows
- inside ptsd, body knows, part one
- one hour
- that same afternoon
- inside ptsd, more than a recollection
- inside ptsd, body knows 2
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 2
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 3
- inside ptsd, a student of trauma
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4a
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4b
- inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 5
- inside ptsd, more than a recollection, part 2
- inside my midlife ptsd
- one day—the daylight part—inside ptsd
- inside ptsd, mere survival
- inside ptsd, economics
- one day, at night, inside ptsd
- on the outside, looking in
- inside ptsd, in the wind
- inside ptsd, in the wind, two
- a is for anxiety
- inside ptsd, the last match
- inside ptsd, addicted to addiction
- inside ptsd, outside looking in
- Day Three, Haunted
- inside ptsd, what it is
- inside ptsd, it takes time
- inside ptsd, the plea for understanding
- before the aftermath
i think it's quite likely so.
my parents had no idea what was coming my way after the robbery; none. it has never seemed blame-worthy, b/c it's not a trait or skill that exists, i would guesstimate, in more than a third of the population. there are levels of skill and granularity within all that, but i think the trait or skill of being able to well deal w/ trauma is rarer still, and to some extent relies on an experience of trauma yourself.
i know those moments where the largess of the sadness dominates nearly all planes of our awareness that it's hard to feel anything beyond the sadness, but there's more going on, a lot more.
this is why we step so gingerly w/ all this, helping each of us see as clearly and lovingly as possible.
[[EDIT]] so i'm not surprised fleur didn't have the help she needed. most of all, she didn't understand how big it all was for you then; she' barely sensing how bit it all still is for you; and with that not-knowing, she didn't know to reach out. she probably thought it was like that flu she had when she was 9, devastating for 2 weeks, but over in a couple months. what do i know? must made that up, but if i think of someone w/o any trauma, i always find it hard to convey to them how hard it actually is to live through.
but that's what it is, and it's ok. it's painful, but in its way it's healing, it's bringing healing to an energy of pain and sadness decades old, a huge wound that even you now are only becoming strong enough to do something about—which of course is hard, tiring work but the rewards are so sweet.
here we are.
All Love, b