Archives - Mark Alan Lilly - Wor(l)ds Online

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June 2018: before the aftermath - Sat, Jun 23

March 2018: inside ptsd, the plea for understanding - Mon, Mar 19

Wherein i ...

January 2018: inside ptsd, it takes time - Fri, Jan 19

Wherein i consider some modicum of closure to this 27 month voyage through ptsd; now, this spring, it's waning...

September 2017: inside ptsd, what it is - Wed, Sep 20

Wherein i try to define something visceral

August 2017: Day Three, Haunted - Tue, Aug 15; outward from the Still Point - Tue, Aug 08

I Am; dancing between the lions - Tue, Aug 08

i am swirling but I Am not; between the lions - Tue, Aug 08

i behold swirling; a day on earth - Tue, Aug 08

i exist as me

May 2017: I want to be like Hafiz - Sun, May 21; First steps, redux - Sun, May 21

April 2017: Web Overview - Thu, Apr 27; lightening and fertile earth, 8 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth, 6 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth, 7 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth, 5 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth, 4 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth, 3 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth, 2 - Fri, Apr 21; lightening and fertile earth - Fri, Apr 21; on writing - Tue, Apr 11

i note some interesting tidbits, before they get swept away; crawling forth, years later - Tue, Apr 11

i find it remarkable stuff lasts so long.

March 2017: dear LightWorker 15 - Sun, Mar 26; dear LightWorker 14 - Sun, Mar 26; dear LightWorker 16 - Sun, Mar 26; dear LightWorker 17 - Sun, Mar 26; dear LightWorker 13 - Sat, Mar 25; dear LightWorker 13a - Sat, Mar 25; dear LightWorker 12 - Sat, Mar 25; dear LightWorker 11 - Sat, Mar 25; dear LightWorker 10 - Sat, Mar 25; dear LightWorker 9 - Fri, Mar 24; dear LightWorker 8 - Fri, Mar 24; dear LightWorker 7 - Wed, Mar 22; dear LightWorker 6 - Wed, Mar 22; dear LightWorker 5 - Wed, Mar 22; dear LightWorker 4 - Tue, Mar 21; dear LightWorker 3 - Tue, Mar 21; dear LightWorker 2 - Tue, Mar 21; dear LightWorker 1 - Tue, Mar 21; dear LightWorker - Mon, Mar 20; All Love asks, how - Thu, Mar 09

i relate steps i took; All Love asks, day three.1 - Tue, Mar 07

i watch myself fall; All Love asks, day three.2 - Tue, Mar 07

i try to make more sense; All Love asks, day three - Tue, Mar 07

I realize i am not a limited human being; All Love asks, mod version part five - Sun, Mar 05

These words aren't mine.; All Love asks, mod version part four - Sun, Mar 05

We say thanks; All Love asks, mod version part three - Sun, Mar 05

We get literal; All Love asks, mod version part two - Sun, Mar 05

All Love is so pleased to see us again.; All Love asks mod version - Sun, Mar 05

All Love asks is that we surrender totally and have it all.; give - Fri, Mar 03

Wherein i am sad, and Beloved

February 2017: on Grief and Grace - Fri, Feb 24

i find words for Grace and Grief, and other odds and ends; on healing - Fri, Feb 17

i bump into something of the Truth; postlude - Fri, Feb 17; do it well - Fri, Feb 17; first glimpse - Fri, Feb 17; inside ptsd, outside looking in - Sat, Feb 04

Wherein i contemplate certain urges that don't exist on regular days...

January 2017: sounds - Mon, Jan 09

i muse on sensations coming in; PANS - Sat, Jan 07; the system stack - Fri, Jan 06; single signon - Fri, Jan 06; EAB ConnectHub - Thu, Jan 05

December 2016: ego is the fool... - Wed, Dec 28

i view myself; bodymind needs - Mon, Dec 26

bodymind _needs_ (while the rest of me desires) and how that all works out; to start - Fri, Dec 23

i am humble once again; bodymind - Tue, Dec 20

i write about bodymind as one; desires... - Mon, Dec 12

i hope to clarify for my own sake; roadmap - Mon, Dec 12

i hope to simplify; home within, a flowchart - Mon, Dec 12

i strive to calibrate even more exquisitely; soulwork 102 - Wed, Dec 07

i explore the journing in, and anticipate the journey out.; k, breathe - Mon, Dec 05

i wonder about my place in the universe; dimensions - Mon, Dec 05

i write about nine dimensions, as if it makes some sort of sense.; connected - Mon, Dec 05

i wonder about my place in the universe; this book’s point - Fri, Dec 02

i appreciate brevity

November 2016: what is peril - Wed, Nov 30

i appreciate first moments; rain - Wed, Nov 30

i contemplate; a beginning - Tue, Nov 29

i contemplate the journeys in to and out from our selves; soulwork 101 - Tue, Nov 29

Wherein i explore the journing in, and anticipate the journey out.; more wild - Mon, Nov 28; muzzle velocity - Wed, Nov 09

i am grateful no bullet struck me

October 2016: god planted the tree - Wed, Oct 26

i trip on god...; wild - Wed, Oct 26; Crossing in front of mindfulness - Fri, Oct 21; noboundryman - Sun, Oct 16

i am grateful to others who've invested in all of us

September 2016: sadness part 2 - Wed, Sep 28; sadness - Wed, Sep 28; my nervous system - Sat, Sep 17

i notice the simple choice of Love

June 2016: tom quixote - Wed, Jun 22

i appreciate the preciousness of thin lines...

March 2016: long form - Wed, Mar 16

i am... and can't believe i am so Blessed; something is nigh - Sun, Mar 06

i mourn what feels like way too little time, and for what?

February 2016: inside ptsd, addicted to addiction - Sat, Feb 20

Wherein i recall the sweet buzz...; All Love asks 2 - Sat, Feb 20

i savor Love and many of its flavours; All Love asks - Fri, Feb 19

i am curious about All Love, and grateful beyond description; inside ptsd, the last match - Thu, Feb 04

January 2016: exquisite mayhem - Mon, Jan 04

i appreciate how amazing this all is, even when crash comes to burn

December 2015: early one - Tue, Dec 29

i am grateful we are still alive, but i don't even know it; dave is a helper, too - Mon, Dec 28

i am grateful for Helpers; cracks in my hearts - Sat, Dec 26

arms open, across my chest...; plunge in, per V - Sat, Dec 26

i humbly share words from Swami Vivekananda; Angel, fallen - Fri, Dec 25

this is this, and 'I Am That' was a ruse; here's a firefly - Tue, Dec 22

palms open...; safety and now, part two - Tue, Dec 22

i can envision thinking we might yet be ok...; safety and now - Mon, Dec 21

safety comes first, but how?; editor note, mid december - Mon, Dec 21

i note from the editor's desk...

November 2015: half life - Thu, Nov 05

i mull the diminuendo of my life

October 2015: on grief, - Fri, Oct 02

i appreciate the momentum after a crash; mania and friends - Thu, Oct 01

i appreciate the momentum after a crash

July 2015: unexpected elegy - Mon, Jul 20

i miss Larry; standing down - Wed, Jul 08

i nod in gratitude to standing down; mad spacious - Tue, Jul 07

i am super grateful to know any kind of spaciousness...

June 2015: a is for anxiety - Fri, Jun 26; stunned - Sat, Jun 20

i feel grateful even when my body once got hit by a car...; evening news - Thu, Jun 18

i watched my bodymind be sad...; outside looking in - Wed, Jun 17

i contemplate certain desires to feel better...

May 2015: inside ptsd, in the wind - Sun, May 24

i am as far off the radar as possible...; inside ptsd, in the wind, two - Sun, May 24

Wherein i am as far off the radar as possible...

April 2015: on the outside, looking in - Sun, Apr 26; present for healing - Thu, Apr 02

i state why it's so important to be present for healing

March 2015: one day, at night, inside ptsd - Sun, Mar 29; a four word story - Sat, Mar 28

i write four words...; bmrt - Wed, Mar 25

i give a too brief outline of Body-Mind Rehab Therapy; inside ptsd, economics - Tue, Mar 24

i consider the cost of the aftermath...; versioning - Tue, Mar 24

i outline a numerical versioning system which helps me write documents...; surviving mindfulness, epilog - Tue, Mar 24

mindfulness is not a free-ride to bliss and i don't want oversell it...; surviving mindfulness, the infinite Love edition - Tue, Mar 24

i admit that we gotta go for it, b/c we are the people we've been waiting for...; surviving mindfulness, study yourself - Mon, Mar 23

i consider steps to, and pitfalls of mindfulness; now, and centuries - Sun, Mar 22

i notice a missing middle...; crawling forth, beyond ptsd - Fri, Mar 20

i ponder how i can't stay in ptsd forever, b/c that's letting the demons win...; systems and standard, two - Thu, Mar 19

i write about unpleasant parts of current reality...; systems and standard - Wed, Mar 18

i see bigger patterns, old and often ugly ones...; inside ptsd, mere survival - Tue, Mar 17

i share affection for the act of mere survival...; homage - Tue, Mar 03

Just a word, a hard-working word...; communicating with robots - Sun, Mar 01

i ponder patterns, and aliases, and encapsulating a lot of info in a small space.

February 2015: acute - Sat, Feb 28; inside my midlife ptsd - Sat, Feb 28; one day—the daylight part—inside ptsd - Sat, Feb 28

Wherein i get lucky and remember to be super grateful to be alive...; another pause - Thu, Feb 26

i relate that as tough as it might be, i'm super grateful to be here...; inside ptsd, more than a recollection, part 2 - Thu, Feb 26

Wherein i observe what a beating it was to flashback vividly 11 days ago; inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 5 - Wed, Feb 25

i mostly conclude this inquiry into the nature of addictions...; inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4b - Tue, Feb 24

i further investigate details, motivation, and the unique allure of various substances...; inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 4a - Tue, Feb 24

i investigate details, motivation, and the unique allure of various substances...; hilarious - Mon, Feb 23

Just a word, a hard-working word...; inside ptsd, a student of trauma - Mon, Feb 23

Wherein i look back over things i've learned about trauma, from 30+ years of study...; inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 3 - Sat, Feb 21

i investigate details, and motivation...; inside ptsd, the addiction episode, part 2 - Fri, Feb 20

i hope for insight...; acceptance. - Fri, Feb 20; surviving mindfulness - Tue, Feb 17

mindfulness is not a free-ride to bliss and i don't want oversell it...; inside ptsd, body knows 2 - Sun, Feb 15; inside ptsd, more than a recollection - Sat, Feb 14

i was driving in Illinois west out of Chicago, cold mid-winter, and the past in an instant became present...; that same afternoon - Fri, Feb 13; one hour - Fri, Feb 13; inside ptsd, body knows - Wed, Feb 11

i recognize how imperative the body is in all considerations of mindfulness...; inside ptsd, body knows, part one - Wed, Feb 11; survive vs heal - Wed, Feb 11; inside ptsd, the addiction episode - Wed, Feb 04

i contemplate some of what i remember, can infer or concoct about addiction...; anger, the lower - Sun, Feb 01

i look at 'anger' as a true, extant stream of energy, and so what...

January 2015: a pause - Wed, Jan 28

i stand down for a breath or two; time shift three - Mon, Jan 26; time shift two, still inside the ptsd - Mon, Jan 26; time shift, inside the ptsd - Sat, Jan 24; inside ptsd, remediation - Wed, Jan 21; inside ptsd, three, rage - Wed, Jan 21; inside ptsd, transaction costs - Wed, Jan 21; inside ptsd, fleeing - Mon, Jan 19

i look at my primary response to acute trauma...; inside ptsd, two - Mon, Jan 19; inside ptsd, backstory - Mon, Jan 12

i step back and give a simple context for the whole endeavor.; a thousand near misses - Sun, Jan 04

i scratch out words; inside ptsd, the mad list - Fri, Jan 02

i make a list about a lot of the details alive for me inside ptsd...; inside ptsd - Thu, Jan 01

October 2014: nine-details - Tue, Oct 21; a flash feeling - Fri, Oct 17

the huge currents of living are felt; outside our comfort zones - Thu, Oct 16; from PTSD i've learned - Wed, Oct 01; a colophon - Wed, Oct 01

September 2014: about demons i've learned, 2 - Tue, Sep 23

i share about the seemingly mean spirits; happiness is overrated - Tue, Sep 23; my yes - Sun, Sep 21; my extremes (some) - Sat, Sep 20; deploy - Fri, Sep 19; give god a standing ovation - Thu, Sep 18; tales from the fifth dimension - Wed, Sep 17; sleeping dream, morning dream - Tue, Sep 16; fifth dimension, of Love - Wed, Sep 10; All Love is like... - Mon, Sep 08

Love

August 2014: about demons i've learned - Sun, Aug 31

i honor survivors; everything new again - Sat, Aug 30; at the door - Sat, Aug 23; stories, the first - Mon, Aug 11

July 2014: on being reborn - Fri, Jul 04

June 2014: capital letters - Thu, Jun 26

May 2014: the timing of now - Sat, May 17

April 2014: walking the dog - Fri, Apr 18; head on the table pose - Fri, Apr 04

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